Relationships

Angry or Just Frustrated? Which One Are You?

There certainly does appear to be a lot of angry people out there. Though what appears to be anger can instead be frustration.  I suspect people are tired of so much being outside of their control.  Actually though, it has always been that way since our earliest times.

angry-frustratedLikely the amount of per capita anger is similar to times past, but we are much more aware of it now. Media has heightened our awareness of it.

We often say, “so and so person makes me angry” when in reality they are just being who they are, doing what they wish to do. Likely they are oblivious to your thoughts.

We actually make ourselves angry when circumstances don’t play out in a way that makes us content. It is OUR internal mind. We can CHOOSE not to react that way.

The catalyst can be the behavior of others, in that they don’t behave in ways we feel they should. We shouldn’t blame them, even if we don’t agree with them.

Unless they are breaking the law, they are free to do what they want, to feel what they feel, to be moved as they are. What is, is. If you desire to live in a free society that is one of the consequences of it.

You may peaceably try to persuade others to your point of view. But if they choose not to listen or to be convinced, you need to move on to the next person to try to persuade them, not belabor the point.

Maybe buy an ad in a journal or write an article and express your thoughts. Or if it is too expensive band with others with similar views and collectively buy an ad. Be proactive.

My mom was a person who lived in constant disappointment of others and hence she sometimes appeared to be angryangry. She had in her mind how others- often me- should react to her actions, such as her doing something very thoughtful or considerate.

I of course could not read her mind. I didn’t know she wanted a specific response – gratitude for example.  Therefore,  as kids often do, I thanked her but not with the gratefulness she had anticipated in her mind.

When I became older I apologized for my thoughtlessness.  I tried to remind her that others don’t know what she expects of them. I also pointed out that if her happiness is contingent on other people behaving as she would want them to behave that she will likely most always be disappointed.

You don’t want to live your life that way. Think about this logically- can many of us truly change the world? Perhaps someone who invents a cure for cancer – but not most of us.

That does not mean that you don’t try to have positive influence.  You do your best, while accepting that others are different than we. They come with their own viewpoints.

Why not concentrate on what we can do- show others by living a life we want to project to others such as being caring, and compassionate yet with strength, drive and ambition. By educating others they evolve.

Your anger will not change what is. It may however give you a heart attack.

I would rather you stuck around and helped make our country better.

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